The Gunny Joke
A Marine Corps Leutenant walks into the head one day and sees the Gunnery Sgt. over at the far urinal. Gunny's got his schlong out (and oh, what a schlong it was! well over six feet in length, etc.)and he's beating the side of the urinal with it. Finally the urinal shatters.
"What the hell's going on in here, Gunny?" Shouts the young officer. Gunny, seeing that he's caught decides to make the best of it.
"Well, sir, I've found that if you take your dingus and strike it repeatedly against a solid object, it will grow in size and structural integrity."
The Lt. shakes his head and says, "I'm going to pretend I never saw that" and walks back to his office. It's a slow newsday so he sits down at his desk, shuffles paper, takes a sip of his coffee, etc.
Finally he looks around, whips his dingus out, and proceeds to knock it against the edge of his desk. He does this self-consciously at first, then his thoughts begin to drift. He thinks about life in the Corps, every meal's a banquet and all that. And he thinks to himself, y'know, I've really got it pretty good. I'm a young officer. I make good money. I've got a nice car and a beautiful wife and 2 happy kids.
A damn beautiful wife!
Yeah she's probably at home right now, he thinks to himself, asleep in her little silk neglegee...
The Lt. snaps out of his reverie, looks at his cock and is surprised that it is about five or six feet longer than it ever was. He proceeds to strike the desk with it in an agressive, military fashion. He finally cracks the desk in two.
The Leutanant looks at his clock. 1600, time to go home and fuck his wife! He squares his uniform away, slings his cock over his shoulder, and heads out.
It's a beautiful day outside. The Leutenant, driving a shiny, new, red convertible, has got the top down and is hauling ass in a precise, hard-on induced, military fashion. His cock is now long enough to where he's just slinging it around, kind of like a lasso.
He stops at a light and pops the windows out of the van next to him. As the light turns green, he wraps his dick around the lightpole, kind of like Indiana Jones and his whip, and rips it out of the ground.
He pulls up into his lawn, doesn't even bother with the driveway, hops out and breaks the door down with his dick. He pops a couple of vases on the mantle, then breaks the bedroom door down as well.
Sure enough, there's his wife, asleep in her lingerie, tits half falling out of it. The Lt. comes up to the bed, a big, Victorian four-poster, and rattles his dick between the bedposts, like a fire alarm.
His wife, wakes up, rubs her eyes, and still half asleep says, "Gunny, is that you?"